Mom + Family Life | Selfcare + Mindfulness

How to Be Balanced in a Busy World – 9 Brilliant Hacks

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Struggling to find balance in this busy world? Are you feeling overwhelmed? Below we will look at 9 effective ways to be balanced in a busy world. 

Overwhelmed with choices?

Anxious about seeing everyone’s perfect lives online?

Worn out by the demands of life?

I know. It’s draining…

Train your brain to buffer you from the age of overload.

Below we will look at nine effective ways to be balanced in a busy world.

Are you an overwhelmed mom? I was until I figure out these 9 genius tips to stop mom burn out. I was completely a stressed out mom. But now I'm calm, organized and balanced. Life is good! #overwhelmedmom #stressedoutmama

For the past few years, every Thursday I have a date with my local Buddhist center for approximately an hour and a half of blissful meditation and a deep, thought-provoking talk on Buddhist wisdom.

Shoes are removed, herbal tea is waiting and we take our seats. What follows next is a half an hour of pure and heavenly silence (meditation) and then an hour of the most stirring mindful inspired discussion.

I leave there feeling like I’m walking on a cloud.

Sounds lovely, doesn’t it?

Of the weekly sessions each month, I might make it to 1.

On a good month.

How to be a balanced mom. Even if you are a stressed out, frazzled mama.

Ironically this dose of calm is exactly what I need, but the truth is, I’m usually too weary and tired to pry myself off the couch. Binge watching Netflix seems like much less effort.

I’m not without valid excuses, I’m busy, of course. I have a full-time job, a 4-year-old, a house to maintain, endless errands to run, dinner to cook every.single.night., and I don’t even want to talk about the arduous task of putting my toddler to bed each night.

But the truth is my disquiet runs deeper than just being busy.

And here’s the problem:

I often feel overwhelmed. Flooded. Battered by the velocity and density of life.

It assaults from all angles.

A simple trip through the grocery store finds me staring at the cooler of what seems to be a hundred yogurt cups, wondering which is healthiest for my family.

What if I pick the wrong one?

One might have too much aspartame or sugar, or not enough probiotics.

This decision nearly cripples me, and sometimes I wander off without any yogurt at all.

This scenario repeats a dozen times throughout the store.

And the grocery store is just one small component of my day.

Our nervous systems are under constant attack. There is the nightly news, negative and unyielding, the endless social media feeds and this new age pressure to be perfect.

Be the perfect parent. The perfect partner. Look perfect. Have a perfect house.

I wrote an entire post here about why we need to stop trying to be perfect.

Our bodies are in constant overdrive.

No wonder we feel overwhelmed.

I’m a big fan of the teachings and writings of Rick Hanson, Ph.D., a psychologist, and New York Times best-selling author. Rick states, “These days it’s hard to count on the world outside. So it’s vital to grow strengths inside like grit, gratitude, and compassion—the key to resilience, and to lasting well-being in a changing world. True resilience is much more than enduring terrible conditions. We need resilience every day to raise a family, work at a job, cope with stress, deal with health problems, navigate issues with others, heal from old pain, and simply keep on going. “

Life changing books by best-selling author Rick Hanson: Buddha’s Brain, Resilient, Hardwiring Happiness, Just One Thing

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There are effective strategies we can adopt to bring our bodies back to neutral.

To not only cope, but thrive in a crazy world.

And, they are easy to implement, and you can start right now.

Let’s get to it then, shall we?

Overwhelmed with choices? Anxious about seeing everyone's perfect lives online? Worn out by the demands of life? Below we will look at how to be balanced in a busy world. Finding calm, staying centered, living stress-free, reducing anxiety
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How to Be Balanced in a Busy World

1. Put down your phone.

I was one stressed out mom, overwhelmed by the demands of life, worn out by choices, and then I came across these tips and I'm not longer an overwhelmed mom. I've went from stressed out mother, to blissed out mom. This calm mom is so happy to have found these tips. #overwhelmedmom #stressedmom

This is listed first because it’s becoming an epidemic.

Ping. Buzz. Tweet. The way to loud AC/DC anthem!? (Don’t we all know someone who has a ring tone such as this?)

Ignore it.

Put your phone away for as much of the day as you possibly can.

Are.you.kidding.me?

I’m serious. Sometimes I throw my phone in my drawer at work and check it only on my lunch break and then right before I leave for the day.

If it’s impossible for you to break away, try a 15-minute break every two hours. What is the chance you are going to miss something monumental?

Famous psychologist Daniel Levitin says,  “Here’s a way of thinking about technology that helps me rein it in: When I’m constantly checking texts and emails, I’m allowing other people to decide how I spend my time. If you want to approach your life more mindfully, you need to choose when and how you interact with others.”

We are obsessed with being the perfect parents, partners, and people, but we overlook that our kids are witnessing us staring into our phones like zombies. Have we stopped to consider the effects of this monkey see behavior?

 Create technology boundaries.

Not only do we need to be mindful of our phone addictions, but we need to set technology boundaries in general.

Don’t check your email more than 3 times per day. Delete distracting apps and turn off notifications.

Designate a time to sift through the dump of emails and focus on what’s important.

Perhaps even do a sweep of your inbox, unsubscribe from unnecessary email lists. (Except this one)

Clear out the clutter, to make room for the necessary.

3. Mini breaks throughout the day.

Your mind needs to rest throughout the day.

For one minute on the hour close your eyes and take a breathing break.  Check out these 60-second relaxation tips for moms.

Breathing is simple and incredibly powerful.

Do not skip this step, I can’t emphasize enough the influence this can have over your mental health.

If you are really, really busy, and rolling your eyes thinking, “I don’t have time to sit and breath.” Then you need to do this step even more than most.

  1. Breathe in through your nose and hold the air in for several seconds.
  2. Purse your lips and gradually let the air out.
  3. Carry on until you feel more relaxed.

3. Know your purpose in life.

The most important thing is to remember the most important thing

But what is the most important thing?

More wise words from Rick Hanson: “The most important things often get pushed to the sidelines. Modern life is full of distracting clamor, from text messages and emails to window displays in the mall. Other people tug at you with their priorities – which may not be your own. But if you don’t make a sanctuary for what is important, it will get overrun by the Bermuda grass of B and C priorities.”

Hanson suggests writing down in one word, phrase or sentence what is important to you. Don’t worry about perfecting this phrase, simply write it down.

Your phrase should be in positive terms and in the present tense. For instance say, “I love spending time with my kids” rather than “I will stop being distracted when spending time with my kids.”

Say your sentence out loud.

Expert Hanson then suggests clarifying your priorities, is it health, marriage, career, spirituality, or parenting?

Then break it down even more. Health could become, losing 10 pounds, or improving flexibility.

Then rank your priorities in order of importance and let your top priorities draw you in their direction.

After you’ve completed this self-reflection, look at your list of priorities and ask yourself, “am I giving my time, attention and energy in portion to these priorities?” And sit with the question and answer for a while.

Begin to build your priorities into your daily schedule. Perhaps a start a yoga class, set a weekly date night, study more.

4. Spend more time with Fido.

Pet your dog.

Research has shown one of the most effective ways to unwind is to spend time with the family dog.  It actually releases oxytocin, the hormone of love, and reduces heart rate and blood pressure, even more so than music. (Although music is proven to be a great stress reliever as well).

A dog’s enthusiasm is infectious, and simply spending time with them leaves owners feeling more optimistic and less preoccupied with everyday stress and worries.

Psychologist Dr. David Lewis, of Mindlab International, said: ‘You’ve had a tough and stressful day. The boss has been on your case, the children playing up, the shops packed and the traffic bumper-to-bumper. Now all you want to do is relax and unwind. Actually, forget the TV and interact with the dog instead. The research we conducted shows this is a profound and effective stress reducer and increases feelings of contentment and relaxation.’

5. Pare down decision-making.

Are you an overwhelmed mom? I was until I figure out these 9 genius tips to stop mom burn out. I was completely a stressed out mom. But now I'm calm, organized and balanced. Life is good! #overwhelmedmom #stressedoutmama

Every day our brains are assaulted with a zillion decisions. What or where to eat? What to wear to work? When to work out, or what class to attend? What to do with the kids today? Another coffee? Grocery list?

These endless decisions are like being on a treadmill, and the speed gradually increases, until eventually, we can’t keep up, and our brains shut down and fly off the track.

Statistics estimate that people make an average of 35,000 decisions every day (Hoomans, 2015). That’s an insane amount of decisions.

Decision fatigue is the idea that people are only capable of making a certain number of decisions in a day.

By trimming down daily decisions, we can give our brains a significant break. Make as much of your life habitual (don’t worry you can add the spice of life later) so that you don’t have to decide. Go to the gym every Tuesday and Thursday, make Sunday’s spaghetti night, and Monday’s leftover night. Do your grocery shopping on Wednesday evenings.

Creating routines is meant to reduce the number of decisions we make in a day. For some, making coffee right away waking up is as automatic as breathing. Routines reduce decisions, and thereby reduce stress and overwhelm.

6. Focus on the positive.

Are you an overwhelmed mom? I was until I figure out these 9 genius tips to stop mom burn out. I was completely a stressed out mom. But now I'm calm, organized and balanced. Life is good! #overwhelmedmom #stressedoutmama

We live in a world where shocking news events are a daily occurrence. It’s proven that this shocking can be enough to create symptoms of acute stress, and even post-traumatic stress disorder.

The onslaught of anxiety colors the way we see life.

It’s our natural tendency to focus on the negative, so when we hear something awful or feel sad we need to focus on something positive.

And this something positive can be anything, no matter how small. When you have a good experience, notice it. (A good meal, a cup of tea, a sunset). Stay with this feeling for 30 seconds.

Does your heart feel lighter? Are you smiling?

Repeat this process and it will become a habit, over time you will stay in this positive state for longer and longer.

If you’d like some epic tips on reducing anxiety, check it out here.

If you struggle with worry you might want to check out our amazing 3-month guided Worry Journal. This could be just what you need to jumpstart your positive thinking. Or read here about why and how a worry journal will stop worry in its tracks.

Worry Journal will ease worry and anxiety. Learn more here.

7. Stop multitasking.

Are you an overwhelmed mom? I was until I figure out these 9 genius tips to stop mom burn out. I was completely a stressed out mom. But now I'm calm, organized and balanced. Life is good! #overwhelmedmom #stressedoutmama

Huh, what did you say?

Yes.

Stop.

If you are anything like me, you might pride yourself on your multi-tasking abilities and efficiency to complete an Ironman set of tasks within one day.

But here is the problem, studies are showing that we actually aren’t any busier than 30 years ago, we just feel busier because we never take a break from our devices, so we rarely get a moment’s peace.

This 24/7 connectivity makes our life feel more crowded.

Multitasking works the same way, and ups that compression stocking feeling as well, it keeps us out of the present moment. It keeps our mind congested and heavy, like Times Square during lunch break.

In the morning choose a single project to focus on that day. If today is the day to schedule the dentist appointments, then don’t try to schedule dentist, eye and doctor appointments.

Take full advantage of your lunch breaks, make the time meaningful, go for a walk, close your eyes, breathe.

Less is more. Make room for peace and calmness. Choose one thing to focus on each day. One thing!

8. Take a red pen to your schedule.

Get out your calendar, I recommended Ruth Soukup’s living well spending less life planner. Pick up your favorite red pen, and hack it up. Anything and everything that doesn’t need to be in your schedule cut it.

Be ruthless. Do it. don’t apologize. Learn how to say no.

Note about Ruth’s life planner: So much more than just a pretty calendar, the Living Well Planner® is an all-in-one resource designed to help you organize your whole life, not just your schedule. It was designed to help you take back your time and to allow you to focus on your long-term goals while still navigating the daily, weekly, and monthly responsibilities of running your home.

9. Do one load of laundry every day.

I’ve simply added this one to the list for fun. But although I’m half-joking, I’m also so not joking.

Finding ways to stay on top of household duties is important and essential to managing stress.

Laundry piles up, and it leaves me feeling suffocated. By doing one load of laundry per day, it never gets out of control.

It’s my secret weapon of calm.

The truth is, my sanity doesn’t lie downtown at my weekly meditation class, or even at my Sunday morning yoga class, as amazing as these practices are, but my sanity lies in every moment I choose to tune into life and quiet the storm of my own mind.

Overwhelmed with choices? Anxious about seeing everyone's perfect lives online? Worn out by the demands of life? Below we how to be balanced in a busy world. Finding calm, staying centered, living stress-free, reducing anxiety
PIN ME! PIN ME!

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