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“Judge a man by his questions rather than his answers.”
What are 5 big questions to ask yourself to drive your life in a positive direction this year?
Believe it or not, the kind of questions you ask determines the kind of life you lead.
This can drive the kind of parent you will be, the type of lover you will be and even your success at work.
We ask A LOT of questions.
(anyone with a young child knows just how many questions can be asked in.a.single.day!)
Since the first day we could talk it began, “Why aren’t there any more dinosaurs?”
Our questions may have evolved, “What type of oil should I cook with?” or “How much money do I need to retire?” But we are still asking, we are always searching for answers.
But here’s the thing:
So many of the questions we ask are very backward-looking…like, why am I so unlucky?
By asking the RIGHT questions can change the course of your life, they provoke deep thought and put you on to a better path.
They have the power to calm a wild mind, help you parent peacefully or help you move on from a broken heart.
For right now, let’s try to abandon our need to find the right answer.
Let’s just ask these questions (and these 5 questions have the potential to change your life — big time), there is no right or wrong, in this instance just asking the question is the right answer.
These are five BIG questions that deserve to be asked.
5 BIG Questions To Ask Yourself This Year
1. Am I living a life based on fear?
It’s not unusual for humans to base their decisions on the emotion of fear instead of choosing the emotion of love.
When you reach a crossroads in life, whether it’s a big or little fork do you swerve the wheel sharply left with determination thinking, “This will thrill me and provide me joy?” (love-based decision) or do sputter with hesitation at the fork only to miss the turn and continue on the same road? “I had better pick this way since I could risk losing a, b, or c (fill in the blanks) if I pick the thrill.” (fear-based decision)
Unfortunately, we can’t make any U-turns and choose a different path, but we can ask ourselves this question at our next fork.
Living a life based on fear might seem like a safe bet, but in our uncertain world, one thing is certain, fear-based decisions are likely to leave you drowning in a pool of regrets.
If you were to take the fear out of the equation…the fear of disapproval, embarrassment, failing, loneliness, wealth, what would your life look like? Does your life add up?
If you tune into your instincts, your inner compass will always guide you in the right direction. Ask the question and then listen.
2. Can I change the situation?
One thing is certain you can’t change the past, it’s nothing but a memory, a mental story and it can’t be changed.
When you are confronted with an external problem ask, “Can I solve this problem?” Regardless of the answer will any good come of worrying about this problem?
Ding! A light just came, why am I wasting so much precious time and energy worrying about something that can’t be changed?
Related: Train Your Brain to Stop Worrying With This One Simple Habit
When you fight against reality, you will lose a bloody battle of what if’s, if only, should have’s and denial.
Whether your reality is that you should have married someone else, said something you needed to say, or are dealing with an illness the reality is you can’t change any of these things. Dwelling or worrying is only robbing the present moment of all joy.
Take the what if’s, should have’s and why me’s from your story. Move on
3. What mistakes have I made?
Have you ever stopped to look at your own ignorance and delusions?
Have they ever caused conflicts or problems? What would happen if you acknowledged your mistakes? Would your life look any different? Are there any relationships that might be saved or repaired?
We can gain incredible insight from admitting and seeing our ignorance.
I can bet your ego is in denial that you were ever wrong, or responsible or negligent, but try to look at where you went wrong rather than insisting you’re always right.
A mistake will always be forgivable, as long as you can admit them and grow from them. Learning to really look at your own faults and delusions can really help you to grow as a person.
And while you are at it, why not looking at some awesome ways to let go of resentments!
4. What do I love and what do I not love? (Questions to Ask Yourself)
Do you really love to bake? Or do you bake because it is something that any normal, good mother or wife should do? What if you admitted to the world that you hated baking and stopped making hard banana muffins. You might breathe a sigh of relief and your husband might even say a silent thanks.
I have a lot of friends who like to play baseball, I’ve been asked a number of times to play and I always feel like it’s something I should enjoy more, but the truth of it is that I simply just do not enjoy baseball. I can’t think of a worse way to spend my Sunday evenings.
It’s okay to ask yourself what do you really like to do, if it’s staying home with a good book instead of prancing around the field, that’s perfectly okay.
5. Why not? What would happen if…?
You can fill in the blank above with whatever you’re passionate about, but for discussion purposes let’s look at, “what would happen if you quit your job and moved across the province?” Again we can always go back to our fear-based decisions, I would love to move to the West coast, but fear keeps me at bay.
Why not ask myself, Why not? What would happen if I did move out west? What would happen if I didn’t?
Either way, life will go on.
I’m not saying by any means to quit your job and move away, but it’s interesting to actually contemplate what if? What would happen if?
Play with the questions and see a whole new world of possibilities open up right in front of you.
There you have it, 5 questions to ask yourself this new year that will change your life.
There are so many important questions we can be asking and these are a few ones that stand out to me, what questions do you think we should add to the list?
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